Ask, Ask, Ask Again

Lesson 15: Use your voice to ask the One who Answers

Apr 07, 2024

Hello! I’m Sadia, author of Ugly Shoes. If you’re new here, welcome! Each Sunday, I write an essay about faith and spirituality as a Muslim woman and mother. Below is my final essay in the Ramadan Learning Series. If you enjoy my work, please consider sharing it with a friend.

Here’s what’s in this newsletter:

(1) Writing to the President

(2) A Letter and a Poem

(3) What is Dua?

(4) Melanie’s Dua Against Misogyny

(5) A Dua Experiment

(6) More Resources

1. Writing to the President

About 30 years ago, around MLK Jr. Day or President’s Day, I wrote and drew a message asking the President for world peace. With crayons, I drew people holding hands, lots of trees, grass, and flowers. To my 8-year old self, peace looked like a day in the park. At the time, I vaguely knew there was a war in a faraway place called the Middle East. I had no idea what war was, but I had a strong sense that peace was the opposite of war. My third-grade teacher Ms. Pollack encouraged us to ask the President for anything we wanted, so I asked for world peace.

On Palestinian Children’s Day Friday, April 5th, I taught my daughter to write to the President.

“You can do that?” she asks, wide-eyed.

“Why not?” I answer.

Instead of a handwritten note, we emailed the President of the United States together.

The Gaza Strip is now a graveyard for children. The ongoing Israeli aggression against Palestinian children is unprecedented and has affected the entire child rights system. More than 13,800 children have been killed in the Gaza Strip since October 7, and Palestinian children in Gaza who have survived so far have been deprived of their rights to health, water, food, medicine, and a clean environment. A generation of kids are raising their siblings because their parents and adults are all dead, thanks to racist ideology. Here are two videos1 that capture the sentiment better than my words:

queenofpalestine

A post shared by @queenofpalestine

wissamgaza

A post shared by @wissamgaza

The reality for these children is devasting. Being a witness to this devastation means something.

The micro lesson: Use your voice. Ask on behalf of others. Ask for impossible things, no matter how impossible. I taught my child to use her ability to write, speak, and think, and channel our collective energy towards advocacy.

I’ve shared my daughter’s letter and poem mostly because there might be a benefit to other families who are struggling with processing the holocaust of Muslim lives abroad.

2. A Letter and Poem

Dear Mr President:

I am 8 years old. My mama told me I could tell you how I feel in a letter and a poem, so I did both. I feel scared and sad for the 30,000 people killed, mostly moms and kids. My mama told me as our president, you can do the right thing. Please stop sending weapons to kill more kids. Let food come in. My friends in school are losing family members. My teacher is Palestinian and she is sad too. Every night, I pray for peace. Today I’m asking that you please end this war. Thank you.

Fatima

And here’s her poem:

Together We Stand

Here we are

me and you

I don’t know

do you not know too

this world is big and also scary

it makes me feel so weary

people say this is United Place but no no no I feel no grace

I am holding your hand together

we are on the top of the land staring at the empty field

listening to the cows moo

I don’t understand do you not understand too how do people think

injustice is peace

please just think it’s bad

a little bit at least

I feel only sad when one of us is hurt

Now in the scary big world, I feel like a speck of dirt

I am squeezing your hand way too tight

just please please please just give me a night where there are no

shivers up my spine and

no worries in my head or

that I think I heard something scary that was said

now here we are holding each other hands together

we stand trying to find peace in this big huge land.

—

(Say, mashallah. I didn’t know my kid could write poetry.)

happy birthday greeting card beside green pen — Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash

3. What is Dua?

Whether you keep your words secret or share them openly, He knows the contents of every heart. How could He who created not know His own creation, when He is most Subtle, the All Aware? (Sura Mulk 13)

Prayer and supplication are closely related terms, often used interchangeably in the Judeo-Christian context, but they have differences within the context of spiritual practice for Muslims.

Prayer is a broad term. For Muslims, prayer has a particular structure and function. Prayer follows a set of movements; it can be individual or communal. Prayer is a key tenet of the religion.

Supplication is a little different.

Supplication (or dua in Arabic) entails making a request or petition to God, asking for specific needs or desires, such as a good spouse, health, guidance, or provision. People think dua is for special occasions or big moments but the tradition of scholars teach us that dua is for everyday concerns.

“Oh God, please send me dinner tonight” is different from“Oh Most Forgiving, you love to forgive, so please forgive me.” But both requests are equally valid asks.

Nothing is too mundane or too majestic for God.

Supplication reflects a sense of humility and dependence, acknowledging our limitations and asking for intervention from God. Supplications do not require any ritual purity, or specific location, though of course there are etiquettes when making a request.

When we request something from a powerful person like a president, it is guaranteed that there will be no response, especially if you’re a child. But somehow, asking God is accessible to anyone, especially kids, the oppressed, and the poor. These are the people we are taught are closest to God.

So I’m teaching my kids how to petition on behalf of others. In this spiritual realm, asking on behalf of others is key to having our duas answered.

Supplications are like little budding flowers.

4. Melanie’s Dua Against Misogyny

A decade ago, I had a mentor who was a Managing Director of a large fund in NYC. She had achieved everything on her professional list of goals. She was married with kids, Jewish, and grew up going to yeshiva as a child but had lost touch with her religion, but was very attached to her culture. (Our worlds intersected because of a mentoring match program I was in through volunteer work). I had no kids at the time, and I found her commitment to her work and family inspiring. We talked about our respective faiths, family, and managing expectations. She was the first person to say to me that you and your spouse constitute a family and kids do not make you a family (this is an essay for another time). This came as a shock to me. We stayed away from politics as a rule but we dived into religion and charitable giving all the time.

When I went to umrah (the pilgrimage to Mecca), I asked her to send me her supplication. I explained the Muslim tradition of reading supplications on behalf of others. She sent me something that I still think about.

She wanted her sons to grow up with respect for women.

In a world of misogyny, Melanie wanted her boys to grow up with respect and good character especially as it relates to women.

Melanie’s dua was so different from the rest of the duas I carried from my friends, many asking for health for their parents and children, passing their MCATs or matching for residencies, and increased provision and contentment on some level.

5. A Dua Experiment

Last December, I wrote a Giving Experiment to see if my community of readers would raise $1000 for the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund. The experiment exceeded my expectations, and together we gave $1750. It signaled that we were open to collective giving and doing good together.

In this spirit of experimentation and the fact that Ramadan is a special month when the impossible becomes possible, I wanted to ask if this community of readers wanted to share their supplications.

Muslims believe that 1) no one knows whose prayers get answered and 2) the more people who ask on your behalf the more likely your dua gets answered.

Here is the link if you want to be part of this dua experiment.

I don’t think your name is necessary because God knows who is asking for what, but if you want to leave your name, you can. I will read your duas along with my own on these last few nights.

May God bring relief and liberation to the people of Gaza and end the genocide and ethnic cleansing of Muslims all over the world. Ameen.

6. More Resources

I have been compiling duas like how some people collect lipstick.

The depth and range of what people ask for astounds me and often fills me with reverence and gratitude. It makes me feel deeply connected to people, to know what they are seeking and to ask on their behalf. My friends and I exchange dua requests as a habit during Ramadan, but I’ve found that sometimes opening up to other peoples’ requests expands my own world a little bit. I often read the same supplications of the prophets and keep a note file with all duas, organized by year.

Here are some notable resources as of 2024:

Supplications from the Quran

Dr. Shadee Elmasry’s Dua Series (episode 29) - The entire series is fantastic, but I especially love this episode about why our duas don’t get answered.

A Question for You

Is there something you feel like is impossible but that you seek it anyway? Is there something you’ve asked for? Let’s meet in the comments.

Ugly Shoes & Paper Planes

Discussion about this post